by Justine Franko
As Hurricane Sandy laid her heavy hand on the Northeast Corridor, I was able to indulge in one last gasp of extra curricular entertainment before the power went out—the new film by Malik Bendjelloul documentary Searching for Sugar Man (before being relegated to a basement holding vigil with flashlights).
This film unearths phenom political musician of the 1960’s (and beyond), Sixto Diaz Rodriguez, now 70 years old and resurrected from the ashes of the music industry and inner city Detroit. Rodriguez as he is known professionally, the soft-spoken poet of the people, has been said to out-write Bob Dylan and out-do Elvis Aaron Presley in certain South African circles. What I discovered is that he is more than just a buttery voiced Jesus strumming a guitar in the ranks of Dylan and Elvis, Rodriguez worked the line, demolished uninhabitable homes, laid roof, and ran for Mayor of Detroit! He was the product of Mexican immigrant parents and he was more or less a musical flop in the United States—until now.
Through a dedicated team of South African music aficionados, with strong political voices in their own right, a now nearly blind Rodriguez has been rediscovered and tours South Africa and now the world to sold out crowds. All the while Rodriguez returns home to his very humble of abode of 40 years and gives his proceeds to friends and family. He wants to give voice to those that don’t have one. This was his reasoning for running for city councilman in Detroit and his music/lyrics. He’s passed this legacy on to his three daughters. Eva Rodriguez says “even people that don’t have much dream big” and this weaves into our topic of the month, infertility and having a voice.
First, before we start using this voice, perhaps even shouting to the universe, we have to get quiet, very quiet. It’s most important that we ask ourselves the question what we really want, not today, but way out there in the future. This isn’t a, “I really want to have a child, but right now I’ll settle for… (this health predicament, this man, these time constraints)”. Just get clear on your long term goal. Perhaps your dream is, ‘I want 3 children!’ Awesome and established. Don’t think about how you’re going to have them, who it is going to be with, how I will pay for it. We do plenty of minimizing on our own, so this is your Birthday Wish List, like when you were a child. Dream big.
When you are really quiet and clear on what your inner voice says, now it’s time to shout it out with no apologies. I, as a career woman amongst career women of the big city have always been uncomfortable saying I wanted children. And trust me; I’ve heard lots of rhetoric about why I shouldn’t have children that fits me like a tight pair of pants. Don’t we all hate a tight pair of pants? This is why we should be solid about what we want and get ready to honor it no matter how outlandish it may seem. It’s time to take the message to the streets to anyone who will listen. Just like Rodriquez, there are in fact lots of people listening, just like you. The more people you tell, the more opportunities to be pointed in the right direction. Dare I say, miracles happen? The right doctor will be told to you, the right man, an acupuncturist, the book will appear on display at your local book store. Why, because your eyes and ears now know what to look for.
Don’t wait. There is one thing that is a fact among every being on this planet. This fact is not altered by ethnic background, finances in the bank, abilities, EQ or IQ and that is TIME. Time marches on and so does a woman’s ability to conceive, until we can’t. Even if you know you want a child 10 years from now, but you know there could be obstacles, get on it now and get prepared. Life throws lots of little curve balls that we either hit or strike out at. This is how we learn. This is how we grow. Be the one to strike the ball and not strike out.
Follow the steps at fertilitywithinreach.com.
This one is most important. See your practitioner and revisit that inner voice. Write it down, make it happen. Tape it to your mirror. Remind yourself every day what you want. Your inner voice that knows you better than anyone knows what to do. Listen to her. If something isn’t sitting right with what a practitioner or friend or mother, realize that’s your inner voice reminding you that it may not be right. Again, follow the tools listed on our site as to what to do, when AND keep going back to what you want and also start asking what you are willing to do to get it.
Having a child in your life is so rewarding and for some the road to making that happen is uphill. When you are committed to trying what lies at the end brings perseverance, strength and learning beyond what you could have imagined. If you feel you are ready to reach for your dreams there is no way the process can’t yield gifts you never could have anticipated, one of which may be a child with which to pass on these beautiful life lessons.
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